Motivating Your Children During the Coronavirus Shutdown

A few months ago, most of us had never heard of COVID-19 or social distancing. Whether you’re 8 or 80, chances are that living through this coronavirus global pandemic is unlike any period of time in your life. One of the biggest consequences of the “shelter in place” order has been the closure of schools throughout the state, at least until May, possibly for the remainder of the school year.

Depending on the age of your children, you are undoubtedly dealing with a lot of issues — both your own and theirs — including anxiety, frustration, boredom, or fear. While the idea of not having to go to school might have been appealing initially, it likely didn’t take long before everyone was itching to get back to life — school, work, sports, extracurricular activities, shopping, socializing, dining out and so on. It’s hard enough to keep your kids motivated academically when they are IN school. But trying to do it while they are learning via a remote lesson or lecture, materials sent home from their schools and/or you as parents (or other caregivers) attempting to teach them, the adjustment is undoubtedly difficult.

Let’s be honest: Under the best of circumstances, it’s tough to stay motivated in the second semester of the school year. Teachers and classes are a bit “old news” by this point and it can be difficult to stay motivated. Now add onto that the unprecedented experience of sheltering in place at home, during which students are isolated from their teachers, friends, teams, extracurricular activities and everything else in their lives other than family. Staying motivated academically may be one of the last things on their minds, but it’s important that they do so in order to finish the school year strong and be caught up and ready to move forward when they finally will be able to return to school. This WILL end, and eventually schools will reopen and students and families will gratefully return to normal lives.

So how can you keep your kids motivated and striving to do their best academically? Here are some suggestions for encouraging and propelling your students toward success.

• • Keep Expectations In Perspective: As adults we are all struggling with this situation; our children are feeling it just as acutely but may lack the same perspective we have due to their youth. If they are acting out, not jumping out of bed when you expect them to, or melting down more than usual, take it in stride. You don’t have to set up an entire home school environment. Honor your kids’ struggle and don’t expect them to jump into maximum learning and productivity. Similarly, set reasonable expectations for yourself. You don’t have to be teacher of the year. Figure out what works best for your family, be flexible and be forgiving. Be understanding, keep the lines of communication open and show compassion and flexibility. It’s a new normal for now and everyone in the family is adjusting.
  • Be Reassuring, Not Reactive: Even when you are frustrated because your child is procrastinating or avoiding doing school work, try not to inflame the situation further by reacting negatively or nagging them. Their “laziness,” particularly during this difficult time, is likely not purposeful behavior to annoy you. Reassure them, make sure they know how much you believe in them and be there to offer support, resources or whatever they need to motivate and encourage them.
  • Set a Schedule and Reinforce that School and Studying are Still a Priority: While none of us want to be drill sergeants as parents, there’s certainly a benefit in setting rules and maintaining a regular routine. Make it clear what the daily schedule is and what the expectations are. Your children should know that school is still the number one priority for them even though they are currently receiving their education at home. Make sure you account for the necessity of taking breaks. One advantage of learning at home is that you can set the schedule to whatever works best for your family. If your kids aren’t morning people, there’s no crime in starting “school” at 10 a.m. instead of 8 a.m. Consider enforcing rules such as: limiting screen time, setting quiet study time for a specific time period each day, no phones while homework is being done, and so on.
  • Create a Study Space: Making sure that your children have a designated, pleasant place to do their schoolwork can help motivate them. Some kids want to be in the main part of your home near where you are while others might want to work in their bedrooms. Regardless of where they study, make sure the space is well-lit, tidy, and loaded with all the supplies they might need (pens/pencils, calculator, notebooks, etc.). Read here for some ideas on setting up an ideal study space.
  • Demonstrate the Purpose of Education: How many times have you heard from your kids some version of “this is so stupid” or “how will this help me in life?” When students get frustrated with their classes, one of their first reactions might be that it’s a big waste of time and they just don’t understand why they have to do all this work. Show them examples of how education applies to everyday life:
    • • • • • When you’re online shopping (since the malls and stores are closed for the time being!), demonstrate how they can use math to determine and compare costs or calculate the price when an item is advertised as “30% off.”
            • Remind them how being able to write effectively and correctly helps them to communicate clearly and intelligently, whether it’s for a school paper, a job application, a college application essay, or a professional letter.
            • We’re all eating at home a lot more right now, so make cooking and baking a family affair. Show your kids how understanding fractions helps when adjusting a recipe by doubling or halving it. Check out websites like this for incorporating scientific concepts into recipes.
            • As your family follows world or national news, point out things that children may have learned in history or social studies courses that help them understand the context of what is happening in current events.

These are just a few examples of demonstrating to your children that there truly are benefits and advantages to being an educated person in our society.

• Encourage Their Interests: As your children spend more time at home during this shutdown, encourage them to take the time to ponder their interests and explore them further. If your daughter starts asking questions about astronomy, encourage her to watch documentaries and find books where she can learn more. Make plans to take her to the Griffith Observatory when social distancing rules are relaxed. If your son suddenly wants to know more about how phone apps are created, help him find information online, seek out courses for developing apps, encourage him to talk to a computer science teacher or other professional who might be able to guide him. The world is full of opportunities for growth and learning, so giving our children the freedom to explore what they are interested in is an excellent way to increase their motivation.
• Focus Less on Grades and More on What They’re Learning: Try not to put as much emphasis on grades because that will often increase your children’s anxiety and lower their motivation. Initiate a lively conversation about what they are learning and ask a lot of questions. It can help your children realize that they do have a grasp on the concepts they are being taught and give them more confidence moving forward.
• Offer Assistance: Depending on how their schools are set up during this closure period, encourage your children to reach out to their teachers to get help in a class/subject that they’re struggling in. If you feel like you are capable, offer to help your child study or to understand concepts. Encourage them to work with their classmates when appropriate, using apps such as Zoom or Skype for group study sessions. Look for outside help such as a private tutor if you or your child thinks it will help. Synergy Academics is currently offering remote one-on-one tutoring via apps such as Zoom, Google Hangouts, Skype, FaceTime, etc. We offer excellent, compassionate and highly qualified tutors in many subject areas. Make sure your children know that you are on their team and will help in whatever way you can.

We are currently dealing with an unprecedented global situation that has forced all of us out of our routines and our comfort zones. As difficult and stressful as it is for us as adults and parents, our children too are struggling to understand and cope with this new reality. Help them make the best of the situation by providing the structure they need to continue their education at home while also employing compassion and flexibility. Above all, make sure they always know that you are their #1 cheerleader. This too shall pass. Take care, be safe and stay healthy!